How uncertain you are. So uncertain, yet so full of possibilities. I look at you with mixture of both fear and exhilliration.
Fear, because I do not know what you hold. I know good things are in store. But what if those good things are not what I am expecting? What if I am building my hopes sky high only to be met by – by what again is unknown. But perfect love casts out all fear, they say. So I open up my heart for Love. I open up my heart to that Thing that will banish all these cares away.
Like jumping into a roller coaster, I look at you with exhilliration. I may be afraid at first, but you are definitely something to look forward to. There will be many twists and turns, many up and downs, but I will just scream my heart out and enjoy the ride. The ride will be exciting. I am sure if it. It is a brand new adventure I am willing to take on.
I shall jump into you like one jumping off the edge of a cliff. Prepare to catch me because here I come.
I am looking forward to you. At the same time, I am absolutely terrified of you. You are something so bright and hopeful yet still so dark and uncertain. I want you to come quickly. But I still want these days to stretch on and on because when you are finally here, will you be all as I expected you to be?
What if you’re not? There can only be two possibilities. Or three, let’s say three if I am an absolute prophet.
Possibility one: I’d have set my hopes up for nothing. You are just as bleak as some people say. I’ll be disappointed, wishing another future would come quickly by.
Possibility two: you are so much better than I expected. Everything’s rosier. Bliss will overtake me. I’ll be saying, “These are all so much better than all of my dreams put together.”
Possibility two: everything is exactly as I had dreamed they will be. How that will happen, I am not sure. But I’ll look around at everything and say, yep, all is as all should be.
I truly hope it won’t be the first. I truly hope it would be one of the other two.
But then again, I’ll just look to God. Whatever you may bring, I know in my heart, He’ll be in control of everything.