Childlike Heart


Over the fields, over the emerald green meadows, the little girl leaps and skips, jumps and romps, dances and prances – carefree, unperturbed, wild, and free. Wild in the most positive sense – not really bound by rules, not held down by protocols, not suffocated by self-inflicted pressures and what nots – she is just simply FREE. THAT’S the very word. She is free.

Free to live. Free to love. Free to enjoy the ride. Free to be who she is in Christ.

I missed that little girl. I miss me.

Well, she’s back.

Welcome back, Mari.




Back to Art

Took the time to “draw seriously” again. I have been going back to “writing seriously” and “reading seriously” so… It’s time to get back to art. :)

I drew the four Pevensies from The Chronicles of Narnia. And Aslan too. I like Narnia. Scratch that. I love Narnia. Reading the books is a long overdue thing for a reader like me, but – better late than never, right? Still on to The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I want to read the whole thing out loud. With an English accent. And all the sound effects. Haha.


What to draw next?

I’ll Stay Amazed

For quite some time, I’ve been swinging back and forth between two extremes: being overly emotional and being excessively emotionally “numb”. On one hand, I’d be too busy with busyness to feel rapture and despair, but on the other extreme hand, during those days of un-busyness, I would tend to feel too much, ending up sleepless because of all the unsorted-out emotions.

I woke up one day realizing that I needed to strike a balance somewhere. I needed to find a middle ground. Because if I didn’t, I’d probably end up being bipolar or something. That wouldn’t be good.

So how do I strike that balance? How do I keep myself from switching back and forth between Ice Queen and Emo Girl and stay… stay… stay…

… stay as what? Stay as what, Mari?

Well, as a child, I guess.

A child.

Whoa. How do I strike a balance? Lo and behold, there’s the answer to my question right there. To strike a balance, I simply need to stay as a child. Become a child. Remain in that childlike state. For it is in that childlike state – it is in living in my identity as a daughter (and a precious and deeply loved one at that) – that I can chuck the Ice Queen and Emo Girl costumes away and live out my true, non-bipolarish identity.

While listening to the Friday meeting this evening, I received this picture from Daddy God.

A child in His hands. Staying amazed.

It’s a little girl, clothed in the color of royalty, shining like a diadem in the hands of the Father. The rapture on her face exhibits delight (her Maker amazes her), and okay, her outfit sort of looks like some sort of pajama, but I can explain that. In Cambodia, we learned that pajamas are the fashion for the rich and elite. You would see people wearing pajamas in broad daylight. But the thing is, it is only those who could afford the outfit who would dare strut around the streets in those matching teddy-bear or checkered prints. Well the little girl isn’t wearing prints, but she’s wearing royal pajamas nonetheless, showing that she is of a more than well-off status.

And she is hugging her knees, the same thing that I was doing as Jovelyn Saligumba was belting out “Stay Amazed” in the Destiny Livestream.

To put it simply, that child is God’s picture of me. And so that will be the picture that I will continue to be.

But that drawing isn’t just simply intended for me. Sure, it is a reminder of my identity, a reminder to remain as that child whose staying amazed blocks out both numbness and emo-rides. But I believe that picture could also be for you. For you might have been wearing some sort of costume (not necessarily the Ice Queen and Emo Girl ones) when God is just calling you to simply live as a child in His hands. You know. Delighting in Him. Staying amazed.

Know what? I’ll stay amazed. Let’s all stay amazed.

The Colours Mix In

A rough sketch. A rough drawing of an artist sitting on a bench.

This little story started that way – as a simple drawing made out of simple lines and shading. But with the addition of each new painting – as each part of Nathaniel’s life is revealed – new colours and textures start coming in, transforming that drawing into something more.

What we have is no longer a mere sketch. In our hands is a textured piece revealing our protagonist’s true depth, his true character.

The piece is finished. The colours have mixed and blended in. Much as I want to take his story further, Nathaniel must be released, so that he can fully live out his dreams – and so that we can live out ours.

What ever did become of our painter? And what of the narrator? The final instalment reveals it all. Or does it? I leave you with this: click here to read our story’s conclusion.

Some of you may have missed out on parts of the story. Or some may have only come across it just now. So I shall give you the links. Start from the painter. Make your way through each painting until you come to the concluding one.

Dreams. Sacrifices. Fire. Fulfilment. Here, you will read it all.

***At dito nagtatapos ang aking kadramahan. ;) Really. But I enjoyed writing this little ‘thing’ down. The pieces aren’t really that lengthy (just a couple of paragraphs each), so if you have the time, just go ahead and read, read, read. I hope that you will not only enjoy each ‘painting’, but that you’ll learn and gain insights from them as well. Enjoy! Now for the links:

The PainterPainting One: TeenagersPainting Two: A Happy FamilyPainting Three: The Young Woman Painting Four: The Boy and his KiteThe Old Gentleman |The Writer |

In an Effort to Be Productive

In an effort to be productive, I tried my hand at sketching using Adobe Photoshop. Ang hirap pala. Especially if you don’t have a decent mouse and all you’ve got are your fingers and your laptop’s touchpad.

But I’m happy with what I’ve come up so far. It’s a rough sketch of a girl who’s… I’m not sure what she’s doing actually. At a glance, she seems to be letting go — but look again and it may seem that she’s trying to hold on to something.

Maybe she’s doing both. Letting go and at the same time holding on.

Or maybe she’s torn between the two.

Or maybe, just maybe…

I don’t know.

Well, I can totally identify with the girl. Whether I’m at ease juggling the two (at this point I guess I’m learning to let go of a lot of things and at same time learning to hold on to a promise)… or whether I’m torn between letting go and holding on to something… Well…

You could only just speculate.

Because that’s all I’m saying for now.

(Tried coloring it in… reminds me of my high school artwork…)

. . .