Category: ** LESSONS FROM LIFE **

Ms. Lubrica. I’m so glad I caught up with you. Could you please spare our magazine time for an interview?

Sure. Ask away.

Okay. Thank you so much. So, could you tell us about your last semester?

It was great. It was definitely one big roller coaster ride. So much has happened, and I’m just so soo thankful because God has been sooo, sooo FAITHFUL.

Oceans will part, huh?

Yeah. Oceans will part. Rather, the oceans just parted.Everything that God allowed me to do this sem… well, I only managed to do it because He parted the red sea first. (Or was it the river Jordan…? Hmmm…)

But there were a few Eqyptians chasing you, right?

Ha! There sure were. Not just a few – there were a LOT of them. But they couldn’t scare me… Even if the Egyptians came through the form of a lost laptop, disappointing grades, emotional turmoil and discouraging circumstances… well… God just drowned them all in the end.

You spoke about emotional turmoil… what’s that about?

Well, I guess this has been one of my overlydramatic semesters. I was just talking about all those times (cynde’s post-birthday, dates with ate patty, hehehe) that my emotions got the better of me… those times that I spent nights crying… times that I got up out of bed unable to see anything because of my swollen eyes… But I did learn a lot from those times.

You did? Like what?

"Don’t be a Dam. Be a river." – Ate Patty.

"Offer it to the fire." – Ate Nevs.

Actually, it’s easier said than done… But I’m learning.

I understand. So… What would you consider the happiest day of the last semester?

The day I made it through my defence and had the assurance that I was a graduate…? Hmmm… nahh… I was elated that time but that wasn’t  really the happiest day.. it was a hectic and haggard day what with my JAP10 exam… BPI signup… anyway – hmm.. Lemme think. The MFest? Ablaze for God?? There were a lot of happy days but I guess that the happiest day last semester was the midyear celebration… I was so happy to see my bible studies attend the service. Not only that, it was a real breakthrough for the worship team…. ate pia was there… you know… sigh. It was a great day.

Okay, so that was the happiest day. What about the saddest…?

(What is this, a slum book???) Well, I guess that would have to be the night I called up my mom and dad and told them that my laptop was stolen. That was definitely heartbreaking.

Okay, so much reminiscing your past semester. So, what’s your plan for the next semester???

I have sooo many plans… They’re still in the incubation stage and most of those plans involve my cellmates… so my cellmates better watch out…! The next sem is going to be a BLASSSTTT!!!!

Exciting. Well, thank you very much Ms. Lubrica for giving us the time for this interview. We’ll let you know when we’ll be publishing the article about you. See you next time.

No problem. See you!

(Hirap talaga maging artista. Haaay.)

Hahaha. Sorry I couldn’t think of a better title. Even for my taste, it seems to be a tad to nerdy.

Still, i couldn’t find of a word suitable for "two-year anniversary". Centenial is used for a hundred years… millenial for a thousand… but for two…? hmmm… Bineal? Binial? Grr… Binary would have to do. (LOL)

Anyway, why the big deal about this binary? (pinagpilit talaga na binary yung appropriate na term). Well, it’s been two years since the night that I surrendered my life to the Lord. Two years since my Encounter God Retreat. Two years since my life totaly changed.

A lot of things have happened since then. A lot of adventures, a lot of prunings, refinings… God is not yet done with me and my journey continues.

I am so amazed at what God has been doing with my life. He is forever Faithful. Even before I met Him, before I surrendered my life to Him, He has already been faithful in my life. Everything I have been through has been pefectly orchestrated to fit into His MASTER PLAN.

His faithfulness in the past assures me of His faithfulness in the present and in the future. I have the assurance that He will use every present dealings, that no matter how hard they are on the emotions, no matter how much I feel like giving up, I KNOW OF HIS FAITHFULNESS and I KNOW THAT IT’S GOING TO BE WORTH IT. My future is also so secure, because He Himself said, "For I KNOW the plans I have for You, plans to PROSPER You and not to harm you, PLANS TO GIVE YOU a HOPE and a FUTURE (Jeremiah 29:11)."

It’s so different being in the Lord. If I didn’t know Him, I might have given up long ago. Given up on life, on my friends (sino nga palang friends? hehe)… on myself… But… because He found me… I’m still here… weak… yet so strong… on the verge of giving up… yet so full of hope and faith… on the verge of tears… yet so assured of His eternal love that surpasses any form of Human love… That’s the paradox of my Christian Life.

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So saan pumasok yung binary numbers?

There is a fire burning deep within my heart – a fire that I did not expect to light up in the first place, considering the fact that my previous season was, well, anything but fiery.

Yet, now this fire burns deep within, it burns so bright (hey, is that the lyrics to a song??? ^-^) … I can’t explain it. Honestly, I want to get out of my pity party, step out of my comfort zone and GOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Go where God wants me to go… Do what He wants me to do without any hesitations… 

I’m excited for the next school year. Yes, I am partly nervous, but this fire has consumed all the fear that has built up inside me during this year’s summer classes. This summer, I felt helpless, insecure… as if I couldn’t move on anymore. Yet, God used that time to draw me deeper into His embrace. He used that time to teach me that He is indeed my soul Suffieciency… my Strength when I am weak… the Love that carries me… (oohh, another song -LOL). And I really treasure that season, because through that season, God has indeed taught me a LOT. Yet, I know that it is time for that season to end. It’s time for a new one. Ibang level naman.Now, I want to jump up and down, go crazy in praise and worship… waaaa… I feel like a soda bottle that’s all shaken up.

I don’t know how to contain this excitement. I won’t be going back to LB until next week so the most that I can do right now is do things in the spirit…

Ooh boy. Right now, it is my prayer that God will fan this fire into flame. It is also my prayer that, somehow, my batchmates will be able to catch it. I believe some already have it in their hearts, burning the same way that it is burning in mine…

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Whoo! GLORY!!!!

… I know that human zeal is never enough. Far be it that this is JUST human zeal… Lord… Let it indeed be Your fire that burns inside my heart… Let it indeed be Your Spirit fanning it into flame… Oh God, I want more of You… I want to see more of You… in the SOD… in DMI… in the lives of the people around me… show me Your Glory… show me Your GLORY…

Terrified. Excited. Nervous. Ecstatic. Such range of emotions swirl inside me as the first day of this new school year draws closer.

It’s strange how you can feel such contrasting emotions at exactly the same time. Though it may be perfectly normal to sanguine people, to a melancholy person like me, it is quite strange and awkward. Yet, I can not deny that those feelings of terror and – at the same time – anticipation are here, raging up inside me.

I usually feel this way when something new is about to happen. And it is no wonder since my formal year as a sophomore is approaching. Though I did have a sophomore standing during the summer, starting my actual second year of college is totaly different. Once this semester starts, I will no longer be a baby. There will be new people looking up to me, treating me the way that I have treated my ates and kuyas. A new generation would cause me to grow up and mature even further.

Mature even further. Just the thought of it scares, yet excites me at the same time. Yes, I will be a more mature mari, however, I do not have any idea how that mari is going to turn out. Only God knows that. I will just continue to put my trust in His perfect ways.

Trusting in His perfect ways. It’s wonderful how I could finally say this phrase with all my heart. A year ago it would have been awkward. Even mentioning God in an entry like this would make me feel strange and I would probably think twice before doing so. Yet, that was a year ago. A lot has changed since then. I realized it this morning when I woke up and posters of Britney Spears were no longer staring back at me, when what greeted me this morning were some homemade posters containing a few encouraging scriptures. And I am eternally grateful for that change – the change caused by the healing power of Jesus.

It’s hard to think that I was such a different person one year ago. Yet, looking back at the way I was before, it makes me wonder – If such a change could happen in just one year, then what would I be like in a year from now…? I believe that there would be many more changes in me and I have faith that these changes will not only be for my own good but will be for the glory of God… so that I will become a better person – a better child of God. For in Christ, things do not follow the law of entropy (the tendency to go from order to disorder) but instead, things change from glory… to GLORY.

Knowing this however, still does not take away the jitters inside me.

Sigh.

A whole new school year, a whole new adventure. I wonder… what does the Lord have in store for me this time…?

 

I have often felt alone. Especially during those times when nobody was there to reach out and just give me a hug… when everybody else was doing their own thing… forgetting completely about me… those times when I felt so… so invisible.

There was a time when I did not know how to deal with this feeling of intense loneliness. I tried to lose myself in my own world – in the world of poetry, of writing, and of song – yet to no avail. It was useless. Though I loved being in my own world, I could never really deny that emptiness that continually lingered in my heart.

That was before.

Things have changed since then. Although friends still continue to abandon me at times, though sometimes the comfort of human warmth is not there when I need it… I realize that I am never really alone. Jesus Christ is always, and will always be by my side.

When I need comfort, He is there. When I need encouragement, He is there. When I need someone to inspire me, He is still there. When I need a companion, He is always there. Never, never will I ever be alone.

I now realize that my desperate attempts to wash away my loneliness are just THAT – mere desperate attempts. I could write, I could sing, I could make music… but if I do these things without God in my heart, it would be totaly useless. Because no matter what I do, if He is not there, that emptiness will never go away.

I am so thankful for His constant and unfailing love… so thankful that I will never have to go through this life on my own. Because you know what? I am NEVER ALONE.