May 2021 – scribbles and stories

#LoveTeamForever (Year 1)

May 26, 2021May 27, 2021 mari anjeliLeave a comment

I’ve been missing Makati lately. The tall buildings. The busy malls. The coffee shops, the restaurants – our usual Mondate venues. I miss our friends and churchmates. I miss the hussle, bussle, and yes – even the crazy traffic. I guess I miss these a lot because these were the things that marked the first three years of my marriage with Adrian, year one specifically.

We began our wedded journey in a small studio unit in a condo inside Makati’s central business district. It was a 20-minute walk from Adrian’s workplace. It became my home-office since, even before the pandemic, I worked mostly from home. We chose the place because of its convenience. We didn’t have to worry about traffic when it came to the daily commute, there was a grocery store downstairs, the only downsides were the size and the price. But it was good enough for us since we were just starting out anyway.

Ayala Ave, Makati Ave, Kalayaan Ave, and JP Rizal Ave were our usual Grab routes. I mentioned Mondates and I should explain that we made it a point to set aside Mondays for our marriage night. We would go out on dates – have dinner out, drink coffee somewhere, or watch a movie – and then talk about us and our marriage. Every Monday, yes, and for us that was sacred.

Setting aside time specifically for our marriage was an advice we took to heart from the pre-marriage and marriage courses we took. Marriage time helped us a lot since I also went on many trips during our first year together – work trips to Los Baños, Cebu, Baguio City, Hong Kong, Jogjakarta, and Kaohsiung. Yep, I was a jet-setter back in the day. Many times, we needed to just spend time and regroup.

*After presenting at a conference in Jogjakarta, Indonesia*

Our first year of marriage was fun. Happily enough, we didn’t fight too much. We didn’t have to adjust a lot because I think we went through the growing pains during our time as girlfriend and boyfriend. The first year (well, the first six months, at least) was also really the time we made it a point to just enjoy each other’s company and not yet try to have a baby. We knew there would be a world of changes once we had our third (and then fourth, fifth, sixth…) wheel.

“Trying” deserves a whole other post and I will write about this when I get to #LoveTeamForever Year 2. But, for now, I will leave you with my biggest lesson from Year 1 and that is to really cherish the one-on-one moments with your partner and not take them for granted just because you tied the knot and they are already forever there. Cries of “Mama!” and “Dadddd!” will change your dynamics and will make you miss those times you can go for a weekend getaway without having to worry about who will take care of the kids.

Not that having Marikit around makes me unhappy (on the contrary, she makes every day happy!). I guess what I’m trying to say is that if and when you have a season that kids are not yet on your mind or tugging on your hands – treasure it. You’ll look back at it with fondness and nostalgia as I do now. <3

That’s it right now for Year 1. Stay tuned for Year 2!

Familiar Yet Different

May 5, 2021May 5, 2021 mari anjeliLeave a comment

“What has changed here?” Adrian implored one time. It has been 16 years since I had left La Trinidad for college, then for work, then for marriage. Since 2004, I don’t think I have spent more than a week in my hometown. Now, Adrian, Marikit, and I have passed our fifth month here.

“A lot,” I replied. “That drugstore wasn’t always there. There used to be a bakery nearby that marked the boundary between KM5 and KM6 for jeepneys bound for Buyagan.”

I think I could have gone on and on about the ways the years have caused La Trinidad to change. Even sleepy towns like ours are not exempt from urbanization. But I guess the biggest thing that has made our town more different – just like everywhere else in the world – was COVID-19.

If things were different, it would have been lovely to come back to the familiar viridian town where you were sure to meet at least one person you knew while taking a stroll outside. It would have been wonderful to return to the place where you could easily crisscross between a city and a slower-moving municipality (Yes, I’m talking to you, KM4 traffic). Yet the La Trinidad we have come back to only has handfuls of masked people who’re likely to be strangers walking about; the La Trinidad we have come back to now has border restrictions that constantly divide Baguio and the surrounding towns, making me think that La Trinidad has already become like North Korea and Baguio the more open South.

Well, there are also certain changes that have been a big plus for us. We now have Grab Food and Foodpanda here in addition to various errand and delivery services. There are also fiber Internet providers making our work-from-home set-up much easier. Shopee and Lazada delivery fees are also not that high thus much of the items we have bought were actually only a few clicks or swipes away.

If there was something though that I would have wanted to remain the same but didn’t, it would have been the ability to meet up with my high school friends. Were it not for COVID-19, we would probably have had several coffee meet-ups already, several mini-reunions during special events. But this is our situation now – most of our interactions have just been online.

I apologize if this is yet again a melancholy post. But though it has been sunny here, you can’t help but feel that there are still notes of sadness in the air.

Well, there is a time and season for everything, as Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says:

3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Our hope and prayer is that this season will pass soon enough.

La Trinidad Summers

May 4, 2021May 4, 2021 mari anjeliLeave a comment

It’s starting to get hotter here. The other day, it was around 27 C and in the coming days it might reach 30 C. A friend of ours living in Metro Manila said, “Nakakahiya sa 40 C dito!” (How embarrassing for our 40 C here!)

Quite true. At night, we still wear jackets when we go outside. Our bedroom still feels like the air conditioning is turned on 24/7. But Marikit can now wear sundresses and I can take ice water baths at night without complaining about the cold. (We don’t have a shower – we go by the tabo system in our new home).

“Do people look forward to summers here?” Adrian asked me one time.

“Hmm… I don’t think people look forward to the warm weather in particular… I remember looking forward to summer when I was a kid though because it meant not going to school…” was my hazy reply. To be honest, I don’t think I looked forward to the heat because – prior to living in Los Baños, then Malaysia, then Metro Manila – I avoided hot weather as much as I could. But when I left home, it was an everyday part of life.

I remember summers though when we would make ice candy using Milo, melon, and buko juice. I think we were also able to have avocado flavored ones one time and that was a treat! It also got hot enough for us to crave for the halo-halo our neighbors sold only during the warm season. It got to a point when we would eat halo-halo everyday.

I still remember summers more though for what we did rather than for how high the temperature went. Daily Vacation Bible Schools when I was young. School-schoolan with my cousins wherein I got to be a student, and then eventually a teacher, then a principal at some point as the years passed. Ten days fieldwork as an initiation to high school. Violin lessons and voice lessons. And finally, UPCAT reviews and then eventually graduation parties.

Now it’s Marikit playing with her cousins at the compound pointing at bugs, butterflies, birds, lizards, and frogs. It’s supervising them running around, throwing mini-tantrums every now and then.

If the heat wouldn’t give way to the rain and to the cold yet again in the next few months, it would somehow feel like an endless summer here. Everyday I feel I am experiencing the summer of childhood with work sandwiched in between.

It’s a pity we can’t take Marikit to the beach like our parents would take us at least once each summer when we were young. And that GCQ has kept us from parks nearby. But she’s happy with our yard, with the compound, and with our parents house. I guess that will have to do for now.

Summers bring me back to simpler days. I guess the three of us are lucky we can enjoy these simple days here. For what it’s worth, with all the chaos happening in this world, it still pays to pause for a moment to look for and be thankful for uncomplicated things like these…