I am a Good Driver

Okay I just have to write this out. I was thinking of writing a piece about driving, say, when I take, finish, and pass my actual driving exam. You know. So that I could write in that celebratory, praise-filled tone and all. But something tells me that now’s time to get these words out and let them finally see daylight.

And so daylight they shall see. Ready?

I’m going to start this driving discourse with this statement – I am a good driver.

I am a good driver, I am a good driver, I am a good driver. 

That statement over and over and over again.

I need to give myself that pep-talk every time I get behind the wheel. The brief intro to my driving history is this:  I’ve never driven a car before. (Okay, that was long). I’ve never driven anything aside from the go-carts in Genting and the bumpcars in EK. I know how to manoeuvre a bicycle though. But still, my cycling history is full of cuts and bruises. When my Dad first taught me how to ride a bike, I must have fallen a thousand times in our dirt driveway in Armidale before I could breeze around successfully. However, more painful than the sting of the numerous wounds that I incurred falling down was the pain of knowing that while I kept toppling over, my younger brother was already levelling up with his one-handed bicycle tricks.

But I did learn eventually. That proves that I do have some sensory motor skills after all. Which is of course a requirement when you’re behind the wheel of a manually driven, gear-operated, complex machine.

I mean, good day gears, come estas clutch, bonjour brake, apa khabar accelerator! Howdy handbrake and salam steering wheel! Oh, and have you met their friends, the left and right signals, the windscreen wiper, the horn, and gosh I don’t know what else?

I am a good driver, I am a good driver, I am a good driver.

I am. I’m learning. I can now go up to 60kph when driving along a straight highway (hey, 60’s the limit for L-license holders!) and I’ve mastered slope-climbing, side-parking, and three-point-turning in the sekolah memandu’s obstacle course. I have problems with sharp curves and traffic lights though, but I’m willing to learn more still so that my final driving exam would be a breeze.

Willing to learn still. Still willing to learn. The crazy thing is that this whole driving thing has become not just a driving thing for me. It has become one huge learning experience in which various parts of my personality – various parts of Mari – gets peeled in layers, gets tested in scores, and gets processed to the core.

Process. I could never have imagined that driving would be such a process for me.

There were (are) those schedule-changing, class-cancelling, event-postponing incidents which would rub against my structured, scheduled nature. I mean, I can be flexible, but only if time would permit me to be so. Unfortunately, time is precious and hard to come by these days. Therefore, if things could stick to schedule, it would be so, so great… but unfortunately, that hasn’t always been the case. So Mari’s heart gets squeezed in tension as the Potter moulds it into a more patient, more flexible, more trusting, and less controlling form.

Mari’s heart also gets some strengthening treatment as the stability of her emotions are put to the test. (Okay, I just did a writing no-no. I’ll shift back to first person now. Release the accelerator, press the clutch, free the gear, move it to the left then push up, release the clutch halfway, watch the car move, press the accelerator a bit, release the clutch fully – and voila, I’m back to writing in the first gear – err, person.) My first three formal lessons were somehow traumatic. I won’t expound (I’ve done so much of that during some of my ranting sessions) but I have come to learn of the degree of how words and hostility truly affect a person’s performance and behaviour. Really. Words are my “love language”, so when you use them on me in an “unloving” manner, it’s often difficult for me to take. I believe this is true for most and not just for me as words have the power to give destruction or to bring forth life.

So… let’s just say that I’ve had my share of hostile words for this season. But thankfully, God’s redeeming those words with His and I’m choosing to drown out the negativity with His positivity. I’m saying, “I am a good driver, I am a good driver, I am a good driver” and God is also saying, “You are, you are, you are,” with me and with that matching, “Kayang-kaya mo yan!” cheer pa.

This driving thing is also teaching me to fight on and not give up. I’m supposed to take my pre-test tomorrow to see if I’m ready for next Tuesday’s exam but it was, unfortunately, postponed (see previous paragraph about patience and flexibility). If it’s becoming such a hassle already, wouldn’t it be so much easier if I just forget the whole thing and just let my L-licence expire? But I’m not going to do that. I am a finisher. I will finish this. And really, I took on this driving gig for a higher purpose. Sure, there’s a need to learn because of the location of my workplace… but there’s also a need to learn because… well, if you must know, we can discuss the matter personally. ;) So like I said. Higher purpose. No way am I going to give up. No way. No way.

I can do this.

So now I’m thinking if I’m making my driving experience out to be too big a thing. Minsan naisip ko parang ambabaw lang nito. But then again, if whole thing is moulding me to become a better person (not just skill-wise but also soul-wise, emotion-wise, spirit-wise – you know, the whole deal ) then I refuse to see it as shallow.

Let’s all celebrate when this whole thing is through.

I am a good driver, I am a good driver, I am a good driver.

Also an obstacle course of life.

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6 thoughts on “I am a Good Driver

  1. Nanny says:

    You’re a good driver.
    It’s a process learned through time, practice, and experience. Driving will get you to many places.
    I have been taking the bus to work and have a chauffeur. But when I do drive, I’m a good driver, too!
    Kaya mo yan!
    Nanny

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