A Page is Turned

There is a book that is sitting in front of me. It is turned to a page, a portion stained with tears, covered
with doodles, and littered with a muddled mess of handwritings. The pages before that are not so different. The preceding pages contain sunny entries about love, new life and experiences with the Lord, dreams, hopes, and aspirations as well as dark entries about loneliness, insecurities, hurts, pains, and seasons of molting. Still, though the subjects may vary, the distinct jumble of tears, doodles, and messy handwritings stand out as a noticeable pattern.

I have stared at that page for quite a long time now. Yes, I have gone back to the pages before that page, relieved them and recollected the memories that have given birth to those entries… but as for that page… I have never seemed to get past that one page.

Don’t think that I haven’t tried getting past that page. I’ve tried turning the pages but somehow the wind kept blowing me back to that page. Or else the page would suddenly become stuck, as if it had decided by itself that it was the end of the book.

But I am determined. Right now, as I sit in front of that book, I am determined to turn the page – for good. If I have to burn that page as well as the pages before that – I would. Just so that I could finally move on to the rest of the story.

It’s harder than I imagined. I feel as if turning the page would mean that the past years of my life had been a waste. But I know that that is not the case. I would simply learn from those pages but be careful not to go back to the pattern that was inthose pages.

I take a deep breath, still slightly unprepared to see what the pages after that might contain. I reach out
to the book and turn the page – for good.

I am surprised as I see the new page in front of me being filled up slowly by a more mature handwriting. The handwriting seems pained at first, but it is no longer childish. Though there is a slight mark of tension, it is no longer girlish, but is womanly and becoming.

The doodles are gone. The tears? Some litter them along the way but I am assured that they are tears of a more mature woman. And the handwriting? The handwriting is now more together, as if the person writing has just gotten her life back.

The page has finally been turned. It’s a huge relief, though it is truly painful. But now, the rest of the pages are ahead of me and I am excited to see the contents of the rest of the book. I am happy and at peace. The page has been turned.

Written at: ICS C-117

11 thoughts on “A Page is Turned”

  1. bat ba lahat ng tao ng u-update ng blog??

    …ako din… in the future..

    hayy mari.. buti n lang, a page was just turned, hindi torn.. wahahaha.. turning “pages” (ooops), we’ll it’s part of growing up, we all know it. :)

    …kung good writer cguro ako + melan..
    …pero hindi eh..

    luv u girl! m so proud of yah!

  2. As one of the popular tunes on TV featuring women with silky, jet black hair says: “The rest is still unwritten.”

    Profound. Very ‘you’.

  3. whoohoo. hay mel.

    hehe. churva. akala ko si ate matt talaga ang nagcomment. Anyway, haha, i’m turning the page. FINALLY. After such a long time. Wehehe.

    Love yah mel.

  4. Sabi nga ni Aidz, eto yung song para dito…

    by Natasha Bedingfield

    I am unwritten, can’t read my mind, I’m undefined
    I’m just beginning, the pen’s in my hand, ending unplanned

    Staring at the blank page before you
    Open up the dirty window
    Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

    Reaching for something in the distance
    So close you can almost taste it
    Release your inhibitions
    Feel the rain on your skin
    No one else can feel it for you
    Only you can let it in
    No one else, no one else
    Can speak the words on your lips
    Drench yourself in words unspoken
    Live your life with arms wide open
    Today is where your book begins
    The rest is still unwritten

    Ayan, kulang na lng kantahin ko di ba. hehe. i-youtube mo na lng. She’s a Christian by the way… =)

  5. ahh… ok. joke!

    nice play of words mari anjeli. just go ahead and turn the page however, don’t neglect the lessons uv learned. may bago akong song para sa yo.. haha. yung song sa Anastasia. At the Beginning. palitan mo na lang yung mga parts na hindi applicable sa yo. whehe. love you!

  6. Hmmm…

    sige po te…

    Let’s see…

    At the Beginning

    (Editted, sadly without permission)

    We were strangers starting out on our journey (Kami ni Lord, hahaha)
    Never dreaming what we’d have to go through
    Now here we are and I’m suddenly standing
    At the beginning with you
    (Siyempre si Lord yon)

    No one told me I was going to find you
    Unexpected what you did to my heart
    When I lost hope you were there to remind me
    This is the start
    (Para kay Lord to ha! Walang mag-aasume ng kung anu-ano diyan!)

    And Life is a road and I want to keep going
    Love is a river I want to keep flowing
    Life is a road now and forever
    A Wonderful journey

    (I like the chorus part!)

    I’ll be there when the world stops turning
    I’ll be there when the storm is through
    In the end I wanna be standing
    At the beginning with you

    We were strangers on a crazy adventure
    Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
    Now here we stand unafraid of the future
    At the beginning with you


    I knew there was somebody somewhere
    Like me alone in the dark
    I know that my dream will live on
    I’ve been waiting so long
    Nothing’s gonna tear us apart

    In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

    … hehe. Thanks ate CT. (^__^)

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