Letting Go

"There can be no revival if there is no sacrifice. If you want a revival, you must be willing to pay the price. You must be willing to lay down your WHOLE life, willing to let a lot of things go. You must be willing to sacrifice your time, efforts, and DESIRES. For without a sacrifice on the altar… there will be nothing for the FIRE OF GOD to consume…"

This is my season of letting go… my season of sacrifice. God has been showing to me these past days the things that my heart still clings to. Idols I have kept in my heart. Desires that still need to go through fire. Little things that have come between me and my God.

I am still under the process. And the process is painful. Yet there can never be a sacrifice without pain.

Yet even through all the pain, through all the hurting, I still hear the Father whispering to me, "Let go and hold on to ME." So here I am. Letting go of everything and holding on to the Father alone.

                                    *    *   *

No Sacrifice (Jason Upton)

To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to
To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here’s my life

To you I give the gifts
Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasures that you’ve designed for free?

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is staronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here’s my life

To you I give my future
As long as it may last
To you I give my present
To you I give my past

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is staronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here’s my life

Here’s my life, Jesus…

Too much RPG and Television

The place: Karilub Training Center.
The date: June 12, year twenty-oh-seven.
The scene: Fifteen days. Two young warriors. A fortnight of intensive training. These two women have been spending days and nights in the enclosed chamber, training in the skills of swordfighting, shooting, and of course the martial arts. And now, the training was complete. It was almost time to release the two into the “real world”.


“Marishin, is everything okay…?”

“Yes, everything is perfectly fine, Li-anshe.”

Li-anshe paused. Everything did not seem to be perfectly fine. Marishin, who was usually so put together, was trembling. Her countenance revealed a look of fear. Her usually focused brown eyes were glazed over, wide, and filled with dread. The two had spent days training at the center, and now was the time to go home. It should have been a happy occassion. But here was Marishin, trembling with fear.

This is not right. Personality-wise Li-anshe was the melancholic and the glazed eyes were her trademark. Marishin was too much of a choleric to have the time for daydreaming… or fear.


“Don’t touch me.”

Li-anshe bit her lip. Marishin had been pretty hard to manage for the past year. She had the slight tendency to be dominating. Li-anshe could see it in Marishin’s academics. When things weren’t going well in a group, Marishin would always breathe out an exasperated sigh and say, “Okay, let’s get this done.” Often, she wouldn’t rest unless she got her way. It was a good thing that Li-anshe was always there to mellow things out when Marishin got too uptight. Having Li-anshe around always quieted and calmed Marishin down.

Li-anshe decided to try again. She grabbed Marishin’s shoulder and whirled her around to face her.

Marishin, you have to tell me what’s wrong.” Marishin suddenly jerked her head away and stared at the ground, unable to look at her friend.

“What is it?”

“I’m scared.”

“You’re scared? Of what?”


Li-anshe gazed at a dark hole in front of them that was slowly increasing in circumference. It was a stark contrast to the white walls of the Karilub center.

“What is it?”

Marishin continued to stare at the ground. “It’s our passage way to our homeland.”

“Is that all it is…? Then why are you so scared…?”

Marishin lifted her eyes and looked at her friend in the eye. “Can’t you see? Training in this center has allowed us to feel as if only a short time has gone by… but the truth is… when we go back to the real world… well, before we even go back we have to pass through that hole and it leads to nothing but darkness. We have to go through a long long looong tunnel first before we could even reach home. And what do you suppose our home is like now…? Exactly as we left it? No. A lot of changes are taking place, even as we speak.”

Li-anshe suddenly couldn’t find the words to say. She understood Marishin’s fear. She’d been there. She knew how awful the feeling was of not knowing. And right now, she knew that the monster that Marishin was facing was that of uncertainty. Marishin always needed to be in control and her plans always had to be followed. But uncertainty would not guarantee that Marishin would get what she wanted.

“Marishin, I know how you feel. But cheer up. We can do this. Kami-sama will always be with us, no matter what. And as for that hole… You know that Kami-sama is our light, right?”

“I guess…”

“So let’s go. Let’s go back and face the real world.”

Marishin closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She willed all the images in her head concerning “what ifs” and “this could happen” to disappear. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

For those who can’t get the drama that has just unfolded… well, it’s just a scene of my two personalities battling it out… choleric versus melancholic… It’s kind of funny seeing my choleric side having a moment of her own…

Anyway… Waa… I’m going back to elbi! And I have no idea what to expect. I guess I’ll just have to take it from Li-anshe. “The Lord is my Rock and my Salvation. I WILL NOT be afraid.”